Old Man Collins

The complaints just melt away

A simple thought experiment adds to your weekend. Photo by Clarke Condé.

Haven’t we all been through enough? I think we know the answer to that question. The weekend is here and I am recommending for this week’s cocktail an Old Man Collins. Of course, the Tom Collins is a classic from the Victorian era with a storied history, but the Old Man Collins is a bit more therapeutic and perfect after a difficult week of encroaching wildfires, upticks in COVID cases and more talk about rain than actual rain here in Albuquerque.

1 oz of gin

Half a lemon

A tablespoon of simple syrup

3 oz Topo Chico hard seltzer

Ice

Lemon slice to garnish

Start with a tall glass full of ice. Pour in the gin. Slice off a thick piece of lemon for the garnish and squeeze the lemon into another cup so you can separate the seeds. Add that lemon juice in, seed-free, along with the simple syrup. Stir vigorously. Top off with Topo Chico without much regard to the flavor, the lemon will balance it out nicely. Garnish with your lemon slice.

Now comes the easy part. Take a sip and start grousing like an old man. Mutter something under your breath about your lawn, kids or your hip. Take another sip and let your actual concerns and complaints melt away as you try to come up with ones some stereotype of an old man might have. Your old man. Old Man Collins.